L'Opera will occasionally import young Italians to act as floor managers. These guys are known for their diplomacy and adherence to the same standards of quality as in the Patria. One time, a particularly obsequious maitre d' asked me how my meal was and I decided to stir him up a bit. Me: Where are you from in Italy? Him: Milano. Me: I have a lot of Italian friends because I grew up in New York, but they are from Sicily. Do you know Sicily? Him: Oh yes, Sicily is like a different country with their own customs. Me: They taught me some Italian, but I am not sure what it means, can you help me? Him: Yes, of course. Me: What does this mean: "Fongoola", is it good? Him: (A wry smile turns up on his face) No sir, it is not good, it is very bad sir. Me: How about this: "manga mi gats", is it good? Him: (frowning and shaking his head) No sir, it is very bad.

I continued with several more Italian curse words I had learned in my misspent youth in Brooklyn, but eventually had to leave. Me: So, Sicily, it's a good place? Him: No sir, you should go to Milano, it is nicer.

La Buca

La Buca and L'Opera are both in the "A" categories but for different reasons. L'Opera is like a 100-million-dollar Spielberg production. L'Opera is like a Woody Allen movie. L'Opera is Los Angeles. La Buca is San Francisco. L'Opera is like Ginger. La Buca is like Maryanne.

La Buca is located down Sukhumvit Soi 1 in a modest shop-house building near Bumrungrad Hospital. Oreste the owner, is a jovial, friendly figure, like a beardless Santa Claus. He dotes over his customers and takes great care that they are satisfied. He can remember what you ordered the last time you dined there including special modifications you requested. The restaurant has soft lighting and Oreste plays good music with jazz, blues and Latin predominating. There is a wine rack as you enter and white linen on the tables. The interior of the restaurant is kind of romantic in a Godfather kind of way.

I once invited a business associate to eat there. He was from the Midwest and spoke with an accent that I am not so familiar with. He was impressed with the restaurant and laughed that this would be a great place to plant a moppet. I wasn't sure what planting moppets involved and didn't even know what a moppet was. I had heard of Muppets but not Moppits. I had reached that awkward moment where you had to either confess your ignorance or look like a bewildered fool who had lost the flow of the conversation. So, I had to ask, what is "planting a moppit?" According to my friend "planting a moppet" means "planning a mob hit" . I thought maybe I have been living in Thailand too long and am forgetting how to speak English.